Courage to Begin Again

When I tell people that I used to be a runner their eyebrows always raise incredulously and they say, “Really?” For two years I was a disciple of the sport logging nearly 36 miles a week and holding a 55 minute PR for a 10K (six miles). It was a huge deal for me. Up until that point, I had been overweight my whole life and had never really considered myself athletic. I will never forget the first day I ran the six mile distance, I wasn’t hurting and I wasn’t out of breath. I nearly cried I was so happy. All of the hard work I had put into running had paid off. I could finally call myself a runner.

At the end of 2006 Kevin and I got pregnant. The shock and excitement of the news didn’t last long because I miscarried only a few days later. The hurt over the miscarriage created a huge cloud in my life for months. I had just graduated from college and I was beginning my teaching career all while trying to deal with the emotions of losing my first child. Somehow, running just didn’t seem to have the same appeal as it had held before. I was too sad to enjoy even the good things in my life.

Around April of 2007, the pain over the loss seemed to subside some. I know the Lord did a work of restoration in my heart and I finally began to feel like myself again. So, I started run again. It felt amazing. I had gained some weight back and so I was slower and my mileage per week was not near what it had been, but I was out there and I felt more like myself again.

My best friend, who was also a runner, and I decided that it would be fun to train for a marathon together. So, at the end of the school year I began my training. In July, God blessed us when I became pregnant again! This time, my doctor and I decided that because of the miscarriage the first time, running during pregnancy was not an option.

Over the past two years I have started running only to quit again when life became to hectic and busy. It has been a struggle to learn how to balance my job, my family as well as running. But the sport is still in my blood. I don’t know why but I love it and I can’t get enough of it. Kevin once told me as I was struggling to begin again, just because I wasn’t running didn’t mean I was no longer a runner. He had no idea the impact that his encouragement had on me!

It is hard knowing where I once was and having to begin again. It’s painful and breathing is difficult again, like it was when I first tried running. But with each footfall against the soft gravel my world begins to focus again. I remember why I love running and I remember all that it has given me. But most importantly, I remember who it was that created running.

Colossians 1:16 “For by him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers, or rulers or authorities; all things were created by him and for him.”

So, as the Lord fills me with the courage to begin the journey again, I will run for his glory and feel his pleasure while I do.

Copyright © 2010 Sarah Rebecca